For the past few weeks, we've been having some remodeling done to our master bathroom. I was going to tell you about it, but I thought it might be more interesting if you heard about it from the cats' point of view. While the work was going on, Dickens and Zorra spent much of their time in the guest room. Along with the usual amenities, we left them each a journal in which to record their thoughts.
Day 1:
ZORRA: Why, oh why, has He put us in this terrible place? What have we done to deserve such treatment?
What was that noise?
We're going to die!!!
DICKENS: I don't know why Zorra is acting like this is some kind of punishment. I like this room. I remember spending time here when I first came to the house. I wasn't much older than a kitten then, and there was an older cat in the house—what was her name? Not Zorra. Zorra's hiding under the bed. I don't know what she's so upset about. We have food, water, a litter box, a window with a nice view...
What was that noise? Oh, well. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about.
I think I'll take a nap.
Day 2:
ZORRA: We're going to die!!!
DICKENS: There she goes again. Under the bed. Although I'm beginning to wonder if she might not be right. Something is definitely going on. I hear strange noises and voices. Yesterday, when He finally came to let us out, I asked Him about it. Of course, He just made those nonsense sounds They always make: "Blah blah Dickens blah blah." I wish They could communicate more clearly. At least They know my name.
What was that? There is definitely something going on out there.
I think I'll see how she's doing under there. Not that I'm afraid or anything...
Day 3:
ZORRA: We're going to die!!!
DICKENS: She's under the bed again, and I will be there soon. It seems we are now to spend all of our days there, cowering in terror. Every day we vow that we won't let it happen again—that the next day, when He tries to capture us to put us in here, we will somehow evade Him.
And every day, we forget.
I'm starting to think we both may have memory issues.
What was that noise?
I will continue this tomorrow—if I remember. Right now, I think the safest place is under the bed.
Day 4:
ZORRA: We're going to die!!!
DICKENS: It's decided. Tomorrow morning, when He tries to put us in here, we get Him. He may be able to withstand an attack from one of us, but if we work together, we can't help but succeed. In the meantime—
We're going to die!!!
Day 5:
ZORRA: We're going to die!!!
DICKENS: What a lovely weekend! But why are we in this room? And why is Zorra hiding under the bed? It seems like there was something I was supposed to remember—
What was that?
Oh, yes. Now I remember—
We're going to die!!!
Day 6:
ZORRA: We're going to die!!!
DICKENS: We're going to die!!!
Day 7:
ZORRA: We're going to die!!!
DICKENS: We're going to die!!!
Day 8:
ZORRA: We're going to die!!!
DICKENS: Zorra almost escaped. She hid under the bed—not this bed, the other one, the one They sleep in. But He got the sucking monster from the hall closet and flushed her out. Now she's under this bed.
She certainly spends a lot of time under beds. Come to think of it, these days, so do I, because—
We're going to die!!!
One Week Later:
ZORRA: I remember this room. I used to nap in this chair sometimes. As I recall, there's a nice view from this window...
DICKENS: Didn't there used to be a litter box in here?
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