A Sticky Subject

The other day I was trying to fix a strand of LED Christmas lights using Krazy Glue. The trouble with Krazy Glue is that it sticks EVERYTHING to EVERYTHING, including sticking its own cap to its own tube. I couldn't open it, so I pierced the tube with a toothpick. Glue oozed out all over my fingers, and when I picked up the piece I was trying to glue, it insisted on attaching itself to me instead of to the thing I was attempting to attach it to.

I began to think maybe Krazy Glue wasn't the best adhesive for this job. The trouble is there are SO MANY different kinds of glue these days. Have you visited the adhesive aisle of your local hardware store lately? It's enough to make your head spin, without even sniffing the stuff.

When I was a kid, there were just three kinds of glue*: Elmer's, which worked on paper, wood, and cloth; Model Cement ("airplane glue"), which only worked on polystyrene model kits; and Duco Cement.

Good old Duco Cement! It was supposed to work on just about EVERYTHING. In reality, it didn't work on ANYTHING. I'm pretty sure this is the same stuff Darren McGavin used in "A Christmas Story" to try to glue his lamp together, and he got pretty much the same results I remember getting with it.

Guess what? I just checked the Internet, and they still make Duco Cement! It's described as follows: "Clear, flexible, waterproof cement. Holds permanently on china, glass, wood, leather, metal, paper, fabrics and nearly everything except rubber." HA! Well, maybe it's better than it used to be. In any case, it can't be worse than Krazy Glue.

* I don't count mucilage and paste, both of which only worked on paper (and not very well at that).